The reason I need to understand the signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back is to know for sure whether my efforts at getting my ex girlfriend back are paying off or not. Usually guys go through the same routine after being dumped. First of all, they think it is a big mistake on her part and try to reason her out of her decision. When that does not work out, they list out the benefits of being together and present it to her. If she is still not impressed, he will start professing his undying love for her and how much he needs her and the great times they have had together. And when nothing works out, he will start pleading and begging desperately causing a big dent in his self-respect.
In order to get your ex girlfriend back, you really do not need to go through all these. What it requires is a detailed and planned out strategy to win her heart back. You do not need to argue your case or plaster her all over with your presence. You also do not need to appear desperate and needy. However, before embarking on the plan most guys would like to know in the first place whether their ex girlfriend wants them back or not. Then they begin to seek out - what are the signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back?
Some of the signs are obvious while others are subtle. During the breakup, feelings of hopelessness and depression rule the roost. It is very easy for you to think negatively. So it is all the more important to look out for these signs that your ex girlfriend wants you back because they can serve as a positive reinforcement for you. When you put your plan into action, you will need to know for sure they are working. In fact, this is an important part of the plan to get your ex girlfriend back.
However, you need to be extremely careful in reading the signs. During the breakup, your emotions are in chaos and that can affect your reasoning. You could be in hallucinating situations which are far from reality. So take care that you do not read into a situation more than you should. So if I would be looking out for signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back, here is something that I would watch out for:
1. Frequent contact:
One of the signs to watch out for is whether your ex girlfriend frequently calls you, sends text messages or emails without any apparent reason. If so, it is a good sign. It just shows that she is not over you yet. Maybe she wanted some space to herself or some time off but she does not want you to move on. She is trying to stay close and keep the lines of communication open. Maybe she is looking for a reason to get back together.
But hold on, don't jump the gun yet. Ideally you should be looking at a number of signs in tandem rather than deciding on the basis of a single sign. There are chances that you could go wrong or perhaps a false alarm.
Another variation of this sign is when she can't stop herself from replying to your calls or messages. Your talk may not touch upon any aspects of the relationship, it may just be a casual talk. But its the connection that counts. If she does not repulse your initiative to communicate, there is a fair chance that you could be reunited with her. However, let me remind you again - she may just be nice and warm with the intention of being friends. So take it easy.
2. Drunk Dialling:
Drunk dialling is just another expression of maintaining contact anyhow. This is a big indication that you are still on your ex girlfriend's mind. When people get drunk, they tend to shed their inhibitions and reveal what is in their mind. It does not matter what the content of the conversation is, the fact remains that hidden below her sober exterior, you occupy her mind-space.
3. Asking mutual friends about you:
If I were keen on knowing the signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back, this is another one I would watch out for. If she keeps asking mutual friends about your whereabouts, what you are doing or whether you are dating someone, it is an indication that she has not got over you completely. If she really wanted to breakup and move away she would have no reason to be bothered about you at all. By asking mutual friends about you she is giving away her true feelings that she has for you.
Once you come to know about this, you can use your friends to pass on information to her as well as glean more information about her. Find out whether she is excited when she talks about you and whether she remembers your love. If you really want to restore the relationship don't let her off the hook. Make sure that she knows that you are not dating anyone else and that you are still interested in her.
4. Bumping into you frequently:
If she insists on meeting you face-to-face or keeps bumping into you "accidentally" it may not be pure coincidence. It is obvious that she knows your schedule and where you normally hang out. So if she bumps into you at work, at the mall, the school or she shows up even at your house a little too often, this is a huge indication. It means that she had a pressing need to meet you face to face that a phone call or a message could not suffice. She may be missing you more than normal. You don't want to offend her or drive her away at such a time. Be nice to her and if she explains the reason for being there let her. But you don't want to force her to give you a reason.
If she really misses you very much, it would be easier for you to get back with her. However take it slow. Let her chase you and once you find out for sure what her intentions are, then you could gear up for the next step.
5. Shows more interest or flirts:
Another one of the signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back is when she shows above normal interest or starts flirting when you meet up. She may indicate that she wants to spend more time with you either on the phone or when she meets you personally. She may also try to flirt with you. It is okay to raise your hopes but again you would do better to be watchful of your steps.
You may ask her out for coffee and gauge her response. If she is really keen, she would not object and maybe she would also agree to meet you occasionally. It means that she still finds your company pleasant though you have broken up. Otherwise, she would not stand your presence.
It is possible that she may have started dating other men. But despite that, if she has no qualms in meeting up with you, she might be giving you a chance to prove your worth. And believe me you don't want to ruin this second chance if you really want to get back with her. However you don't also want to go overboard with it. And don't be overconfident. Start afresh with her as if you are seducing her for the first time.
Notice how she looks at you. If she has the loving look in her eyes then she certainly has feelings for you. Perhaps she is waiting for you to make a move to get her back. She may not agree to it right away but it surely makes sense for you to pursue her at this point. Maybe she is also paying more attention to her looks and grooming. It is possible that she wants to make herself attractive to you.
6. Being nostalgic about past good times
Pay attention to what she is talking about. Does she bring up the good memories of the past and the times that you shared together? Does she mention that she enjoyed being with you and that they were some of the happiest moments of her life? If she mentions that past good times, it may very well be an indication that she would like to share a similar future with you.
At such a time, the next logical step you should be taking is inviting her to do the things that you did together in the past and enjoyed yourselves. A long hike, cycling together, going to a concert, gardening, whatever it was that you had fun doing together - it is time to renew those moments.
7. Mentioning a common future
Another one of the signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back is when she says something that references a joint future. In her conversation, she somehow assumes that both of you will be together again. It may be future plans or just casual hints in the conversation but it definitely is a major indication. It may possibly mean that your ex girlfriend still loves you.
However as mentioned earlier, both of you are going through a very confusing and emotional time. So its possible that your emotions might be mixed and she might be giving you mixed signals. At one point she may want to get back together and at another she may avoid you altogether. So be very careful when you interpret these signals.
She may also mention that she is not dating anyone else and that she is not even thinking of other men. You may also want to own up your mistakes and explain your plan of not repeating it in the future. But don't make it a long drawn explanation. A brief apology and explanation would do wonders.
The reason why you need to be extra careful is that sometimes all the positive signs that your ex girlfriend gives might just be a game. Maybe she knows that you love her and wants to get your attention without intending to get back with you. She may not have any other prospects on the horizon and so perhaps wants to pass time with you. And in the worst case, maybe she is taking revenge for a perceived wrong that you have done to her. So it is all the more important not to rush things but take it slowly. Watch carefully and ensure you have multiple positive signs before you take a decision to go ahead.
Another factor is that both of you are on an emotional roller coaster at this time. You may be experiencing mixed emotions inside you and that is what you will express. At one moment you might want to get back together and at another moment you may think that you need more space. Take out time for yourself. Be prepared to change your bad habits and even accept the changes in your partner. You don't want to rush right into the painful situation again which originally caused the breakup.
It is actually good to take some time out for yourself. In this way you can focus on your personal development and think deeply about the future of your relationship. You should allow this luxury to your ex girlfriend also. Both of you need to re-evaluate things and improve upon your past mistakes. This will help you build a better relationship in the future.
So if I were looking out for signs that my ex girlfriend wants me back, those are the signs I would watch out for albeit with loads of precaution.
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